Oct. 28, 2025

How I Used ChatGPT as My Life Coach (And Why Your Therapist Can't Do This)

According to the American Psychological Association, 41% of adults feel they don't have enough time for personal interests. But here's the twist: when we do have free time, 67% of us spend it scrolling social media instead of doing things we actually enjoy.

I was one of them. For 48 years.

I'd done the therapy. Read the self-help books. Cleared the toxic self-talk. But I still couldn't answer the simplest question: What do I do for fun?

Then I tried something unconventional. I asked ChatGPT.

And the response changed everything.

The Problem: Maintenance Isn't Joy

Here's what nobody tells you about "self-care":

Most of it is just maintenance.

Going to the gym? Maintenance. Meal prepping? Maintenance. Cold plunging, journaling, meditating? All maintenance.

They're necessary. They help you function. But they're not fun.

For years, I thought that was enough. I thought if I just kept doing the "right" things, joy would eventually follow.

It didn't.

Because I was treating my entire life like a to-do list. Even my rest was work.

The Breakthrough: A Letter from Myself (Written by AI)

I was at the gym when I had the idea. The audiobook I was listening to instructed me to write down all my problems. No judgment. No solutions. Just dump it all out.

So I did. Relationship issues. Money stress. Identity crisis. The whole mess.

Then I thought: What if I put this into ChatGPT and asked it to write me a letter from my own perspective?

I expected generic advice. What I got was a gut punch:

"You're not broken. You're buried. And you're digging."

I sat there in the gym, crying.

Not because the insight was revolutionary. Because it was actionable. It didn't just validate my feelings—it gave me a roadmap.

And then it went further. It gave me a 10-point action plan for how to start digging myself out.

Why Your Therapist Can't Do This (And That's Okay)

Let me be clear: therapy is essential. I'm not suggesting anyone replace their therapist with an AI chatbot.

But here's the difference:

Your therapist helps you understand. AI helps you move.

Talk therapy is designed to be a sounding board. It's a space to process, to vent, to be heard. And that's incredibly valuable.

But it rarely ends with: "Here's your 10-step action plan. Let's format that so you can put it in your calendar."

AI can do that.

It's not better. It's different. It's the sherpa your therapist can't be.

And when you use them together? That's when real change happens.

What I Asked AI (And What It Taught Me)

After that first breakthrough, I kept going. I asked ChatGPT:

"What brings me peace?"

I started listing moments that felt good:

Laying in a park in Paris with no agenda
Following my kids around Disneyland, going wherever they wanted
Sitting by a river with coffee, talking to a friend on the phone

The pattern became clear: flow, ease, presence.

Not adrenaline. Not achievement. Just being.

And here's what landed: ChatGPT said, "There's nothing wrong with that. If that's fun for you, do more of it."

For 48 years, I'd been waiting for permission to stop chasing intensity. To stop forcing myself to be someone who finds joy in rock climbing or skydiving or whatever society says "fun" should look like.

I just wanted calm. And that was okay.

The Action: What I Did Next

This morning, I took the day off. No plans. No agenda.

I rode my bike for two hours on a trail I hadn't been on in months. Stopped at a café. Sat by the river. Talked to my friend for an hour.

And it felt good.

Not because it was productive. Because it was mine.

For the first time in decades, I didn't panic about having free time. I just used it.

The Lesson: Ask Better Questions

Here's what I learned:

AI won't solve your existential crisis. But it can help you build the framework to solve it yourself.

The key is asking the right questions. Not "What should I do with my life?" but "What brings me ease right now?"

Not "How do I fix myself?" but "What's one tangible action I can take this week?"

AI is a tool. Use it like one.

How to Try This Yourself

If you're stuck in the same place I was, here's what I'd suggest:

Do a brain dump. Write down everything that's weighing on you. No filter.
Prompt ChatGPT thoughtfully. Try: "Based on these problems, write me a letter from my own perspective about what I need to hear right now."
Ask for action steps. Follow up with: "What's one tangible thing I can do this week to address this?"
Use it alongside therapy. AI doesn't replace your therapist. It complements them.

And most importantly:

Give yourself permission. Permission to rest. Permission to prioritize ease over achievement. Permission to redefine what "fun" means for you.

You don't have to earn it. You just have to try.

Final Thought:

You're not broken. You're buried.

And you're digging.

Keep going.

[Listen to the full episode at brobots.me]