Prioritizing Self-Care: Filling Up Your Tank

0:00 Have you ever gotten so frustrated with your mental and physical health that you just throw the whole kitchen sink at it in an attempt to fix This week we're going to talk about how you shouldn't do that and why Zach is an idiot. Well, it's officially hours since I've put any food in my mouth.

0:41 All I've been drinking or eating is just water. And of course, one cup of black coffee. So don't say anything wrong. I'm going to start with how these conversations usually start between us when there's no cameras rolling. What the hell are you doing that for? That seems crazy. I just need a reset. the past, I had always done I'm doing a three day water fast. And in the past, did it like once a quarter and just took three days, nothing but water, let everything flush out. And it was always painful, but I always felt awesome afterwards. And I haven't done it in like, I don't know, 18, 19 months The other day, I mean, I've said I've talked about it on the show a couple of times.

1:28 Like I, you know, just the last six or seven months, I've just been like out of my funk. I sick and with something bacterial and I didn't take any antibiotics and really like threw me down a set of stairs. And now I'm back. But like I got out of all my old habits and I just. I had enough last week, I need to get out of my own way. I'm sick of my own shit, so I'm here resetting it with a water fast. playing around with all kinds of vagus nerve stimulation techniques to calm myself down, meditation, and reading. As we have talked about in the always start small with little steps. And I guess that applies to everyone but me because when I do it, you're doing it like the most extreme thing I can think of, deprive yourself of food for three days and like do, like start dabbling in all of the things.

2:19 We do tell people to start small all the time. And I have never followed that advice and you know that. I all. I can say is 100 % authentically true I jump in both feet, arms, hands, head first into whatever it is I'm diving into. And I have just felt so off for the last few months and I just, can't do it anymore. So I'm just diving right back in. And the thing is, is like most of what I'm diving back into, yes, so water fast is a little bit extreme, but like most of what I'm diving back into is just stuff that was there commonplace seven or eight months ago.

2:59 So it's not as big of a lift as if I had never done any of these things. So moving for the next 30 days, no rest days. Like I'm just making sure I move in some way, or form, whether that's a walk or, know, it doesn't have to be CrossFit. It doesn't have to be throwing heavy weights around, but it's got to be movement in some way, shape or form. And I've just been so off my game lately. Work stress has been higher than normal. And while I'm really good at handling high pressure situations, like even some high pressure situations still get me. So anyway, yeah, no, I'm not following our own recommendation. I'm just, I'm like, I'm not eating anything for three days, but water.

3:41 But I do intermittent fasting most days, so I feel a little hungry, but like nothing too extreme. Like my mood is pretty good. Everything's fine. Don't ask me that in 30 minutes, because I might blow up at Exactly. A couple of things are you posted something the other day on our Instagram page and I think Facebook too about the doing a 30 day challenge. And so you alluded to that oddly enough I think you and I are in a more similar boat than I think either of us realized between the travel I did a few months ago and trying to reestablish a routine and then adding some trail running to it. ended up getting an injury which was compounded with another injury which I've since re -injured.

4:22 And there's been a lot of sitting on my ass recovering and trying to figure out what can I do, right? How can I still move? How can I still do something to not completely break the habit? And, you know, my current injury is a back injury, which fucks everything up. I can't I can't really go lift anything because it hurts. I can't stand here for too long because it's going to hurt. I can't sit here for too long because it's going to hurt. So I have to I don't have one of the key foundations that I need to manage my mental health. it's similar thing. I'm trying to go, what can I do? And for the most part, it's been water. If I can get in water where there's not that compression on my spine and compression on my back, I can still I can swim, I can move around.

5:04 And so that's what I'm doing. Not a tremendous amount, but it's enough that so far I've been able to keep the monsters in my head pretty quiet. But that's the root of all of this that we're talking about. We're not sitting here telling anyone how to live their lives. So hopefully you came to us because you struggle with something. There's something in your head that some story you tell yourself about what a piece of shit you are, why you're a victim, why life's in your way, all the time. And so we just try to share, hey, would we start feeling that way? Because I don't really feel like that most of the time. But when I'm in this phase, when I'm not able to use all of the tools that I've built to keep me sane, It gets harder and all of a sudden the thing at work feels like it's my fault when it's not the fight that happened at home that felt like it's my fault.

5:48 But it's not like whatever whatever the thing is, it's usually rooted in. I'm not doing what I need to do to take care of myself. And so. to your point about what you are now doing. Yeah, somebody hearing this is probably gonna think that's pretty extreme. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't suggest you do that. I would say the reason that I think you can is because you have done this and more. So this feels like a small step for you. Anybody who's like never experimented with any of this, I would never say, hey, step one, don't eat for three days. Yeah, no, absolutely not. mean that to your point, like I have done this multiple times before. I know exactly what's going to go through my head when I go to bed tonight, you know, and I know exactly how I'm going to feel tomorrow.

6:29 And I very purposefully started yesterday because Sunday I need to do something that I need energy for. And it's currently Friday and I started on Thursday. So I'm going to be able to eat again Sunday. And I timed it so that I'm going to eat right before I have to go do the thing I have to do that's actually going to require a little bit of energy. You So I know that I'm gonna be sapped of energy tomorrow, right? Because my body's like, dude, where's the food? Where's the Doritos you've been eating for the last three weeks? I have to say this one thing. my girlfriend, you know, at her house, she buys snacks and stuff for the kids and things like that. She gets Nutter Butters. I can't, I have no willpower against them.

7:11 None. I only eat like five of them in one shot. Like I have no willpower. those things are dangerous. Dude, I will say it like, and I've probably said this before, but I have realized for me it is cookies. I don't care what they are, if it's a cookie. Like there is nothing easier to grab that is more satisfying than eating a cookie. Bring in the cakes, bring in the ice cream, bring in the Doritos, all that stuff. I can leave it for the kids. It's gonna be fine. You bring cookies in this house, get out of my Right, even if it has dried fruit in it, you're still gonna eat the cookie. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it is designed as a cookie, it is going in my face. Yeah, I am. I am clearly on the same way with Nutter Butters and there's a lot of them. So. yeah, there's like 80 in a pack or whatever.

7:52 So that's a 10 minute snack. As we're talking about it, my stomach just growled. Give me another butter. That may be the fasting, I'm not sure. It could be. could So this is not a big deal for me. I just wouldn't recommend it for anyone else. Like, know, start... If you're going to do fasting, start with like an intermittent fast. you know, I talking to somebody like a, you know, 16 -8 or something like that. Like, see if you can go 12 or 16 hours and... Then move into 24 hours and maybe move into 36 hours, but don't just jump into a 36 hour fast. Unless you're stupid like me. There's lots of things that you can do for self care. And it's funny that self care is something we're talking about today because I was just I was driving around yesterday and my the gas tank in the van was on E, right?

8:41 And like trying to push it as far as I can go. And, you know, we've always heard the airplane analogy of the oxygen mask. Put it on yourself so can see the person next to you, etc, etc. We've even shifted the conversation about that to the champagne fountain. Right. Fill the one up on top so that it can overflow to everyone below. But I think I like the gas tank analogy even better because as a parent, I'm driving my kids everywhere all the time. And I'm constantly trying to see how far can I go on this tank? Like, can I like, can I get it down below the E line? I hate doing, I hate stopping to fill up the tank. It's a pain in the ass. But I realized as I driving around yesterday, I can do so much more for my family and take them so much farther when the tank is full.

9:21 So fill up the goddamn tank. Like, don't put yourself through the stress of how much can I squeeze out of what I've got to barely get there and hope everything goes OK. If you can stop and just fill up the tank, stop and take care of yourself, you're going to be able to take care of everyone else around you and help take them on their journey even farther. So that was just a little epiphany that I had yesterday. I was like, as much as I hate stuff, because because, by the way, could paying for for gas at a pump be any more complicated? Maybe it's just me. I don't know. But every time I try to use the at the pump because god forbid I have to speak to a human being it doesn't work and it pisses me off so I just I it's the hard thing and I have to just pull up accept that it's probably not gonna work I'm probably gonna have to go talk to somebody and that's super annoying to me but anyways just fill up the tank take care of yourself and get everyone else around you and yourself farther by taking care of yourself first Yeah, there's something about the gas tank filling up.

10:15 Like there's two types of people, right? There's the person who, it's below half a tank. I better go fill it up. And then there's us who are like, well, I might get five miles out of this on the gas station seven miles away. Hmm. What are we? There is something about filling up the gas tank, even if the machine is working right. You simply just tap the card and you pump the gas. There is something about it that drives me insane that I'm just like, I don't want to do it. I just don't want to do it. It's probably more along the lines of spending money for me, but because I don't know about you, but when I pull up to the gas tank now, it's like 100 bucks.

10:57 come visit us in Canada. So the other thing that I'm playing around with is Vegas nerve stimulation. I don't know if you've seen anything on this, I have, know, the Vegas nerve is the nerve that calms you down. It's your rest and digest nerve. we learned about this on one of our shows a long time ago, but it is counterintuitive in that in order to... you know, activate that rest and digest and that calm feeling within your body, you have to stimulate one of your nerves and it's that nerve that you have to stimulate. So I've been looking online. There's all these cool tools now that you can like, you know, put around your neck and it basically attaches to, it's, it sends pulses and vibrations to your vagus nerve, like outside below your ears and We had a show a long, long time ago, I think it was an essential oil That was actually episode number 70, which is linked in our show notes for this episode.

11:54 and I learned it there and I'll never forget it because on my desk, where I work every day, this is not where I work every day, I try and keep the podcast separate, I have a bottle of lime essential oil and a bottle of cinnamon. And what you do, and we tried this on my girlfriend and found out that she's really allergic to cinnamon, so if you're allergic to cinnamon, don't do this. But what you do is you take lime essential oil, and you just rub it behind your ear and a little bit down your ear, just, you know, like that, you know, the bony thick tendon part, just like cover that with lime essential oil. What that does is it opens up your pores and then you put the cinnamon on and the cinnamon goes in and actually activates your vagus nerve.

12:35 And it literally you could you can feel your heart rate start to drop. You can feel your breathing start to slow down. You can feel the calmness like come over you. I. The only thing I can equate it to is like a Xanax kicking in. It's crazy. It's really crazy. I remember that episode where we talked about essential oils. There's one and I still have it on my desk because I clearly haven't used it enough. But it literally just smelling it does the same thing. activates the same, the vagus nerve. And so for the longest time I carried that bottle around with me because my kids were much younger and my stress level and my ability to handle it was much, much different than it is now. But it was amazing how like I would be on the verge of losing my shit and feel in my pocket, there's a tiny little jar.

13:17 Smell it and I'd be like, okay, cool. And whether like, whether it is that stimulation that does it, but it's just that that moment that moment of separation between the stressor and your response. If you can sort of build something like that in, think just having that moment that minute to have a beat and go, okay, don't blow up. Don't lose your shit. And if you can have the physical response, then it's a double whammy. Yep, absolutely. But there is, I mean, there is science behind it. like, I mean, smelling it too, like that, that yes, it will absolutely do that, but I don't think it's having a direct impact on your vagus nerve and stimulating it the way like, you know, putting it behind your ear is going to don't do too much though, because I did too much in like a week once.

14:00 And like I broke out into a rash and like it was, it was a thing. but they do make devices now that you can wear that, You know, the claims that they have on them and I want to get ahold of one. Actually, we should probably reach out to a couple of them and see if we can get them on the show, because I'd love to learn more about it. But don't think I realized how stressed out I was Things have creeped like just a little bit every day, a little bit more here and there to the point where I'm, you know, really, really stressed out and I have to do these things again, so. But the Vegas nerve stimulation devices, I wanna get a hold of one of those and try that out because I can only go around smelling like cinnamon for so long, it smells delicious. What's your problem? us. And it's so interesting to me how we literally do a show on this stuff.

14:45 And even I need to be reminded sometimes of like some of the basic things that you got to do. We don't all have access. mean, I don't have access to a gadget, a $300 gadget to wear around my neck. I do have, you know, cinnamon oil, but that costs money. But there is a there's also like free ways to do this stuff. And it just blows my mind that again, like you and We talk about this stuff all the time. We do a podcast on this stuff all the time. It's always front of mind. And even we forget about it. Just box breathe, man. Like you literally are, you have the ability to breathe. You do, you know, box breath, inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four and just keep, and do, if you do that for five minutes, that also simulates your vagus nerve and calms you down and brings you down.

15:30 So like there's all these things that you can do for free. You can add it. All this stuff and it just, it amazes me that even you and I, well, in this case, I forget about this stuff sometimes and, you know, look for that cool tech solution. And I'm brought back to that one therapist appointment where I was like, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try this. She's like, what are you trying to solve? And I was like, I don't know. I'm just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. I'm trying to dissolve this empty pit in my soul that I can't seem to fill with enough Nutter Butters. Exactly. God damn it. Now I want another butter. episode brought to you by Nutter Butter. Alright, well if you're anything like us, clearly our lives have been a bit of a shit show lately and we're now trying to clean it up with some extreme tools and some not so extreme tools.

16:17 Hopefully some of what we've talked about here has been helpful for you. Or maybe you know somebody who's going through some similar struggles as those we've described here. If that's the case, please visit our website, thefitmass .com and share this episode with them today. That'll really help us accomplish our goal of reaching out to other people just like us to help them improve their lives and their mental health as much as possible. Thanks so much for listening. We will be back next week with a brand new at thefitmass .com See you around.